Today is Mayah's birthday and I am surprisingly doing ok. Last week was a little rough just in anticipation of today, but then this morning I woke up and I'm ok. As much as it is NOT helpful when well-meaning people say she's "in a better place", when I'm in my right mind, I do know that she is whole and happy. I long for her, but she aches for nothing. She is perfectly content. Still, on her birthday, I can't help but think about the 5-year-old that could be running around in the backyard right now, had things been different. I also find myself inventing all sorts of religious doctrine about heaven and angels. Do people become guardian angels when they die? Who knows, but it's a nice thought. Our loved ones who have passed on watching over us. Not in a spooky "Sixth Sense" kind of way (I hated that movie), but serving in the capacity of looking out for us and cheering us on.
As is our custom on her birthday, we picked out balloons and released them (sorry to all of the wildlife that will get sick and swollen bellies from ingesting balloon pieces, but it's just once a year, darn it) We also splurged a little and added this fountain to her garden. Proud to say that I assembled it all by myself. And then I obsessed over taking pictures of the water.
Today also happened to be when Meagan got her braces on. Am I the only one who is new to the practice of putting 9-year-olds in braces? Supposedly two phases of braces are more effective at moving the teeth than one phase (not to mention quite lucrative for the very posh orthodontics practice we're using). She tried to pretend she wasn't happy about getting them on, but her excitement was hard to contain. She's been in the bathroom off and on all afternoon brushing, flossing, putting on and taking off her head gear (which she thankfully only wears at night) and looking at herself in the mirror. We'll see if she's still excited about them tomorrow morning when her mouth is throbbing like the dickens. Then she said, "Mom, all I ask is that I don't have to wear my glasses AND my braces at the same time" Hmmm, interesting. What a bummer it's going to be not seeing anything for the next year.
Last but not least, I am refinishing this rocking chair for Ethan's room. It was Meagan's nursery rocker, then Alina's and since then it has been sitting on my front porch. Last week it was a nice day so I sat down in it to rock and relax a little, at the same time marveling at myself for disrupting my usual pattern of being constantly busy. As I sat, I picked off paint. And picked and picked. Suddenly I thought, "Wouldn't it be nice if I refinished this chair." Before I knew it, I was knee-deep in paint thinner, scrappers and rubber gloves. See, that's where "doing nothing" got me! Back to the chair...I don't know if it's an antique, but it's been in my family for quite awhile. Before it was white, it was a hideous 70's orange with a whole lot of shellac over it. It's proving to be quite a job, but very therapeutic at the same time.
I have been very bad about keeping track of the girls funny sayings lately, but here are a couple I can remember...I over-heard this conversation:
NiNi (to Meagan): "Did your mom say you could get a cat?"
Meagan: "No, because my mom is the same as your mom, and she doesn't like cats"
NiNi's new favorite game is "garage sale." This is where she goes around the house collecting odds and ends and then making us buy it back from her. Since she doesn't yet understand the concept of money, I think the whole thing is quite hilarious. The other day I was "shopping" to get my shoes back.
Me: "How much for the shoes?"
NiNi: "Um....One dollar"
Me: "Will you take a penny for them"
NiNi: "Sure!"
Me: "How much for the empty cracker box?"
NiNi: "Um....Five dollars!"
You get the idea. Then she says, "Mom, I'm gonna SELL this money to Haiti!" She means she wants to give it, but doesn't understand the difference between buy/sell/give. Ahhhh, I had forgotten how much I love this age!
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