funnies

Ethan was playing with his action figures in NiNi's doll house.  He had the mom sitting in the kitchen and Batman flying through the window.  In the mom's voice he was saying, "Batman in my house? What in the world?!"

Ethan was at Aunt Jenni's house and asking her a whole bunch of "why" questions...why are there puddles, why is it cold, why is it raining... to which she tried to answer to the best of her ability.  Finally he asked, "But Jenni, why IS it raining?"  and she said, "Ethan, I don't know"  He replied, "That's ok Aunt Jenni, I'll ask my mom"

Ethan was climbing the counter near the hot stove and I told him, "Ethan, if you got hot soup on you, you would get burned really bad"  He said, "And go to the hospital?...And get surgery?"  I said, "Maybe." He thought for a minute and said, "But would I still get soup?"

Ethan was showing my mom his batman action figure.  She pretended that batman was telling her something in her ear.  Ethan looked at her and said, "He can't talk"  She held him up to her ear again and said, "Yes, I think he's whispering something"  Ethan sounded all impatient and said, "Grandma, he can't talk!  He's blind!"

funnies

Just a couple new ones...

Our pipes froze during the last really cold spell a few weeks ago.  We all got ready that morning without water.  Meagan was brushing her teeth with a bottle of water and wearing her too-small-winter-coat (fit her fine before she grew six inches this year but now the sleeves only come down to mid wrist)  She said all dramatic like, "Mom!  Look at me!  Now I know what it feels like to be a poor child!"

Ethan has become very interested in babies and how they get into tummies.  The other day he said, "Mom remember when I grew in your tummy?"  I said, "No, because you grew in another ladies tummy" (we have had this discussion before).  He said, "Oh.  Aunt Laura's tummy?"

NiNi's pyramid business scheme

NiNi has a wad of about $56 saved up from her birthday and she loves it....counts it, smells it, caresses it.  Don't mention spending it.  She did break down and spend some of it at Build-a Bear but it was very painful for her.  Then I found this while doing my once a month cleaning of her room.  The girl's got plans!

"Things we need for the kids spying club...
Get with Kat and Logie for a meeting talk.  We need better stuff and new programs.  Get us on the newspaper.  Moms and dads will say, Wow!  Then get more money, go shopping for new stuff and toys.  Get so much toys we sell some in a groge (garage) sale.  More moms will see how much money we have and send their kid to us.  We will make them pay 50 cents for one hour.  Get so much spy stuff the kids moms will have a baby and send them to us to teach them.  Then we will have partys.  Give us $20 tips.  Will will get to keep the money get some snacks.  Get the kids to eat them.  We will say we are the best!  Give us more money.  Sell to us all the toys dameage (damaged) and make them a awesome toy."

Funnies

This is how Ethan's room looks on a regular basis.  Notice that the bed is made.  That's only because he never sleeps in it.  His new thing is to dump every toy out of it's bin and then pile it all into the center of the room.  On this day I had told him we would need to pick it up.  He said, "How about you clean my room and I watch cartoons."

Ethan was helping to make sack lunches that we deliver to some folks downtown each month.  He wandered away and I found him taking a little break.  Sorta renders the "hygienic gloves" pretty useless.  Not to mention a helpful mental image if your new year's resolution was to eat less at fast food restaurants.

Other funnies...

Ethan was playing with this long stuffed snake when he got a bright idea and said, "Hey snake, you wanna be my rope and I'll be your cowboy?"

Meagan and NiNi were listening to some Bob Dylan song on my ipod and NiNi whispered, "Woah... when was THIS popular?  The 1800's?"

I was trying to tell Ethan something and he couldn't hear me so he said, "Talk louder!  What's wrong, you outta batteries?"

Ethan asked me the other day, "What are hot dogs?"  I said, "Gross meat"  He responded, "I like gross meat!"

We have been talking a lot about feelings lately because Ethan get so messed up by the slightest intensity in our voice.  We have a book that talks about how it's ok even to feel conflicting feelings all at the same time.  Meagan was telling us something and we were distracted and not responding.  She pretended to be hurt and said to Ethan, "They're not listening to me."  Ethan patted her face and said, "Meagan, they're not always gonna listen to you and that makes you feel mad and that's ok" 

Ethan found a prescription medicine bottle in the bathroom and brought it to me.  I tried to sound very serious and said, "What do we do if we find medicine?"  He said, "Ummm...eat it up?"

When Ethan really wants us to pay attention to what he's saying he taps his temple and says, "Listen to my think bubble!" 

After 2 days battle over Valentines candy (knowing it was there but not able to have as much as he wanted)  Ethan finally brought me his sack and said, "Here mom you can have this.  I can't handle it"  Spoken like a true addict.

funnies

The girls were playing hide and seek and NiNi was doing the seeking.  She came to the living room where I was sitting and asked if I knew where Meagan was hiding.  Refusing to divulge any information I said, "I plead the 5th!"  She said, "Darn it!  I don't even have five dollars!"

Chris' company party this year was cocktail attire.  I don't even own a regular dress (I am not kidding) let alone a cocktail dress, nor a single pair of heels.  So I grudgingly bought some jewelry and an acceptable outfit.  When I put it all on NiNi said, "Wow mom, you look like a rich lady!"

With all the stuff Ethan's had done, he has become very comfortable using proper names for all of his body parts.  I took him to Subway for lunch after his urology appointment.  As we were eating I saw an older lady eyeing him and smiling.  When she got up to leave she stopped by our table and tried to engage him in a little small talk....what's on your shirt, what are you eating, etc.  Next thing I know he tells her, "My penis feels better!"  I think she was hard of hearing because she replied, "Oh that's nice sweetie"

I had to give NiNi a "time-in" the other day.  By now she knows all the "therapy lingo" we try to use on her when she's having a meltdown.  As I was holding her and talking to her (quite against her will)  she yelled, "This is NOT highly recommended!"

Whenever I won't buy NiNi something or take her some place that costs money she says, "Aw mom you're so cheap on me"

It is adorable the way that Ethan still mixes up his words.  For example, he loves to yell at his sisters, "You not better say dat!"

I a man

Our friend who owns a construction company came over to look at our roof.  Ethan is fascinated to watch any type of repair person...and we tend to need them often over here.  He was watching the guys climb the ladder to get to the roof and kept calling me over the the window saying, "Mom! Come on!  You gonna miss it!"  The rest of the day he had his tools out and asking me what thing I needed fixed or where the fire was (not sure how fireman got lumped in with roofer, but I suppose they do both climb ladders).  He said, "mommy, I not Ethan, I a man.  You have a big big big huge crack in your roof.  I fix it a huna dolla." 

Our bottom freezer doubles as "toddler viewing platform"

Unfortunately we can understand most of what Ethan says now.  Here are a few of his new favorite phrases and they all sound strangely familiar (must have picked up from dad):

"Here's the deal..."
"Let's have a talk..."
"Get in the car RIGHT NOW!"
"I so tired a you...."  (as in I'm so tired of you leaving the milk out, throwing your towel on the floor, etc.  Makes me think maybe I really am as mean as my kids say I am!)

We were looking through a cookbook and NiNi spotted some flower cupcakes that looked good.  "You should make these for when you get remarried."  I said, "Why would I get remarried?"  She said, "In case daddy....you know...'blech' (makes choking sound)"  Thinking a minute, "Or in case you 'blech' (choking sound again)"  I supposed in that situation, however, I wouln't be able to enjoy the cupcakes at all.

funnies

Ethan snapped off my little rhododendron bush that I had transplanted from the old house and nursed back to health.  Snapped it off right at ground level.  I was pretty upset.  Ethan apologized and I said a half hearted "I forgive you." I think he knew he'd really blown it because he apologized a few more times.  Then NiNi said, "Ethan, she forgives you.  But just barely."

Ethan's favorite shorts are those sporty polyester kind.  Calls them his "ba-baw game" shorts.  Basketball game shorts

When we got home from the hospital after NiNi's surgery, she was still pretty drugged up and couldn't walk very well because of her hip.  Her bedroom is upstairs so I carried her up the stairs with one arm under her knees and one arm under her shoulders.  We got to the top and she said "Oh mommy....my hero"

We have book called "Mommys always come back."  Our therapist recommended it and it's a cute little story about animal mothers who go off to gather food and then come back to their babies.  And they always come back.  The other day I was teasing Ethan and pretending to cry, "I don't want to go to work 'cause I'm gonna miss you!" He looked at me and said, "I know mom, but Ethan's always come back" 

Ethan loves the movie Despicable Me.  Calls it "Pickle Me"

When Ethan gets mad at his sisters he yells, "Why you DO dat?"

NiNi spent the night at her cousins. When NiNi saw my sister in the morning she said, "Do you always wake up with that hair style?"

I lost my temper with Ethan the other day and later apologized to him.  He said, "That's ok.  I love you all the time"  Struck me so much because we do not use this phrase with him.  I really think he came up with it all on his own as a very articulate way to express his unconditional love.  Kids are great teachers, eh?

Jokes

NiNi has been creating some of her own original jokes lately.  Here goes for a flash back to first grade humor:

What did the bunny call the cat when it was jumping?  A bunny jumper
What did the kid call the cow when it was eating grass? A land mower
What did the kid call the baby in class?  Warm up your brain!  (not sure about that one)
What did the banana do when it loved banana splits?  Do the splits!
What do you call a monkey eating a jalepeno?  A cry baby
What did the kid call the monkey with a hat?  A funky monkey

and my personal fave...

Why did the post-it note want to be warmed up? So it could become a toast-it note!

Parenting: Dirty little secret #64

 

I teach my kids potty words.  There I said it.  Awhile back we had an extra long wait to get Ethan's hair cut.  He had crunched through three suckers, scribbled on all the paper in my purse and was becoming more rambunctious by the second.  I started whispering secrets in his ear and this kept him on my lap.  As you can imagine, your run of the mill secrets got old pretty fast.  But the "potty secrets"...now those were a completely different story.  Golden nuggets like, "Superman wears pink panties" and "Spiderman goes poopy in his pants" seemed to cast some sort of hilarious tranquilizing spell on him.  He would cackle and slap his hand on his knee and then cozy his face up to mine and ask for another. Kept him busy for 20 minutes until his hair cut and I left feeling pretty proud of myself.  And no one ever had to know.  Until today.  Ethan's 61 year old preschool teacher came over for a home visit.  At the end of their session she picked him up and he said, "Rita I tell you a secret."  We all know little boys can't whisper, so from across the room I heard, "Rita, mommy went poopy in her pants."

funnies

 

Remember the movie Monster's Inc.?  The kids have been watching it a lot lately.  There is a scene where the monster world is contaminated by the human world...the loudspeaker calls out "2319" and men in hazmat suits rush over to decontaminate the unfortunate monster.  NiNi now likes to use "2319" as code for anything dangerous or gross that needs immediate attention.  For example, Ethan sneezes and green goo is hanging from his nose...2319.  Or Ethan is poised with scissors in one hand and my work paper in the other...another 2319.  You can imagine there are many opportunities to call a 2319.  Ethan also likes to say it although does not understand the inside joke.

 

More NiNi quotes:  "Oh mom...it looks like you're growing a mustache. (than adds hastily) But it looks nice on you!"  

 

Ethan quotes:  "God made my car blue!"  (said of his toy car in classic epiphany style after learning in Sunday school about all the things God made)

Chris likes to wrestle with Ethan and taught him to say, "You wanna piece of me old man?"  He now tries to fight all our male friends who come over for a visit, spouting off this phrase.  Recently Chris says, "Ethan needs to cut that out!"  Yeah right!  Fat chance dad!

NiNi taught Ethan what "pinky promise" means.  It requires all of the fingers on his opposing hand to hold down the fingers on his left hand, leaving only the pinky out.  He asks for a pinky promise when we say things like, "you can watch cartoons later."  I have to admit it is one of the cutest darn things I have ever seen

He still has trouble getting in all of the syllables in words like slippery.  The other day I had just mopped the floor and he fell saying, "Woah!  Slipley!"

Ethan needs his cuddle time when he wakes up in the morning.  Not terribly convenient when I am upstairs trying to get kids dressed at 6:30am.  If I say, "I can't hold you right now"  He says, "Mama, hold me downstairs"  As in, "hold me even when we go downstairs."

Ethan is into pretend play right now.  He of course does the typical fighting of bad guys/crashing of cars, but also plays with NiNi's dolls.  It is very sweet to hear him talk to the baby and say, "You're ok, don't cry."  The other day he was playing the role of "frazzled daddy", holding the baby with one arm and doing a load of laundry with the other.  Kept opening the dryer and checking to see if the clothes were done.  When I asked him, "What's your baby's name?"  he said "Jesus."  Baby Jesus is probably the most famous baby he know.

 

funnies

Meagan woke up early one morning and saw me folding laundry at 6AM.  In disbelief she said, "What are you DOING???"  I said, "laundry."  She shook her head and said, "When I'm a mom, I'm getting my sleep no matter what."  Can't wait to  quote this one back to her.

Ethan sneezed and out came a huge amount of snot (this actually happens all the time).  NiNi was watching and said, "Mmmmm...snot, fresh from the brain"

I was play fighting with Meagan and she was yelling for help.  Ethan came over and said, "Don't hurt her!  That's my sister!" 

Ethan got a play cash register for Christmas and everything costs "a huna dolla"

Ethan continues to use a very worn out dish towel as his "lovie"  We have a back up towel for the nights that we can't find his favorite.  Except now he want to sleep with both of them.  We give him one and he says, "No, my TWO tawah!"

Ethan loves his preschool teacher, Rita.  Calls her "My Rita."  There is a notebook that goes back and forth from school to home to communicate about his progress and behavior.  There was a stretch of time where he was getting time-outs almost every day and I would read about it in the book (aloud so he could hear.)  One day I picked him up and asked, "How was school?"  He started to explain something but then just pointed to his backpack and said, "book." As in, just read it in the book.

I had NiNi all bundled up for one the the 10 degree mornings we've had recently...hat, scarf, mittens the works.  She looked at herself in the mirror and said, "I'm all warmed up!"

Ethan has a love-hate relationship with my mom's dog, Zhari, who typically jumps all over him.  I told Ethan that he was going to grandma's house and he said, "I go to grandmas and Zhari go to grandma basement"

When I tease NiNi , she likes to say, "I"m TELLING!"  And I say, "I'm the mom, who are you gonna tell?"  The other day she said, "I'm gonna tell dad and he will wrestle you up!"

When we are riding in the car and the sun shines in Ethan's face he says, "Hi sunshine!"

Ethan got a guitar that is in the shape of a dog for Christmas.  He calls it his "tar doggie"

I was sorting through our outrageous mass of school papers and came across an old Sunday school craft of Ethan's.  I tried to nonchalantly throw it into the trash but he caught me and said, "No mommy!  That's MY Jesus" (Yeah I felt kinda bad)

Ethan caught on quite awhile ago that people think he's cute and he can draw an audience wherever he goes.  But now he can verbalize this.  Over vacation we went into a restaurant where several ladies were waving and making cutsie faces at him.  He turned to me and  smiled and whispered, "Everybody lookin at me!"

I took Ethan to the ENT to get his ears checked.  The tubes have fallen out and he can't hear worth a darn.  The doc wasn't convinced so suggested we take him down the hall to the audiologist.  He said to Ethan, "We're going to get your hearing checked."  Ethan said, "Huh?"  Doc says, "Check your hearing"  Ethan says, "What?  A kucker?" (sucker)  Doc says, "No you get a sucker LATER.  After we check your hearing."  The whole exchange was so hysterical.  Doc turns to me and says, I don't think he can hear very well!"

Current Funnies

Happy to report that Ethan is now talking enough to have is own "funny sayings" post

When we don't give him what he wants he crosses his arms and says, "I mad you!"

The other day he was repeatedly asking for something (a 'kak") and I couldn't understand what it was.  A sock?  A cracker?  No, not any of those.  All of the sudden he clarified, "mommy, a kak,  I eat it"  As in, duh mom, I want a snack.

Unfortunately he now likes to give us an earful of gibberish, followed by, "you hear me?"  Of course, using the same tone of voice I use when barking out orders.

Ethan's new favorite way to drive me crazy is to grab something he's not supposed to have and either throw it or run away with it.  I was trying to get something back from him, repeatedly and angrily saying, "Ethan, give it here.  NOW."  He looked at me very sweetly and said, "Say peeeze mommy!"

Ethan likes socks.  Girl's knee socks.  And since we are potty training he often is walking around with a bare bottom these days.  The other day I caught him wearing knee socks and nothing else but his birthday suit.  He was pretending to talk on the phone, pacing around, and saying, "Yeah....uh huh....I naked....uh huh...."

Ethan and his sock obsession

NiNi gets an allowance of $1 a week and is starting to understand the value of money (and therefore is always scheming a way to get more)  Remembering that I sometimes pull money out of daddy's pants pockets when I do the laundry, she said, "How can we get the washer and dryer to start making dollars again?"

I got Meagan some monogrammed notecards awhile back and I noticed she had not used any of them.  When I asked her about it, she said, "Sorry mom, but I don't know THAT many people whose name starts with the letter 'M'" 

We invited all of the girls in NiNi's class to a fall party (per the school's rule)  When I told NiNi that all of the girls would be invited, she said, "Even my enemies?" 

NiNi mispronounced perfume as "ker-fume"  Found this bottle laying around that she had labeled:)

"crfum"

More NiNi-isms

"I think I'll take a break from picking my nose"

"When I grow up, I'll have to marry Ethan, because we have the same skin"

NiNi was getting fed up with gymnastics until she heard she could be on a team and go to competions. Now she says, "I like being in the davance (advanced) gymnastics 'cause then I can repeat (compete) everybody."

Now that she has new-found-two-wheeling freedom, I often remind her to stop at the end of the sidewalk when we're riding bikes so I can cross the street with her. Today, after the 5th or 6th reminder she said, "Mom, that's getting a little annoying."