Reuter Family

March is always a bittersweet month for me. Four years ago at this time we were eagerly anticipating the call that our travel approval had arrived to adopt Mayah. Instead, we got a very different phone call. She started having trouble breathing just after dinner on March 22nd, was taken to the hospital, and died that same evening. No other details, except that her foster family was grieving bitterly for her. I remember driving home from work in a daze after our agency called. I remember meeting Chris at home, and him sobbing on our bed. I remember us taking a walk in our neighborhood, crying out to God...and praying for the right words to tell our kindergartner that her sister had died. I also think about heaven and how much more "real" it is to me now. I'm thankful for that. This time of year reminds me of her...the daffodils peeking through the dirt, the rain, the earthy smell of spring. And in many ways, wanting March 22nd to come and go quickly. It shouldn't be odd to me (but it is) that no matter how many children I have, there is still this sense that there was supposed to be one more. And this fundraiser that happens each year...sure it helps a few kids, but I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I do it for myself. It's therapeutic. It forces me to think about her, to say her name, to write her name, and to even talk about her from time to time. It's soul-soothing.

If you get a chance, check out the new look to our blog HERE. My friend Deb designed a logo for us which I feel captures the essence of all this perfectly and beautifully. Then Nikki at Blogs for Cause gave the blog a make-over. Oh yeah, and don't forget to check out the cutie we are sponsoring this year.