Let them eat pop tarts!

You might say we have always tended to be more authoritarian in our parenting style.  Obey the first time, absolute and unconditional respect for authority, and (unfortunately) less emphasis on grace.  And I think the vast majority of evangelical Christians have a similar approach.  Because there is nothing more un-Christian-like than having bratty kids.  And I would tend to agree with this notion, if all of our spanking, grounding, and demands for obedience had actually produced more respectful kids.  Now don't get me wrong, I have great kids, but I would not say they are the "fall in line" type.  Obedience is important but is it really the ultimate goal of our parenting?  The other day, Meagan and I had an argument about pop-tarts.  I like for the kids to eat healthy.  They like to eat junk food.  We were at the store and Meagan really wanted some chocolate fudge frosted pop-tarts.  After a 5 minute lecture on the evil and not-even-breakfast-like qualities of pop tarts, I reluctantly agreed to compromise and get her the fruit-filled, unfrosted ones.  "How about fruit-filled with frosting on them?" she asked.  No.  No frosting.  "But I don't even like strawberry."  Too bad.  Strawberry it is.  No frosting.  In the cart, through the checkout, silence during the van ride home, and back to business as usual.  As I reflected on it later, I thought, God would have bought her the darn chocolate pop tarts.  He loves giving us gifts.  In fact the Bible says he at times lavishes them upon us, seemingly without fear of spoiling us.  He tells us we are special and loved, even though that might go to our head.  He lays out his commands but forgives us when we blow it.  Which, if you're me, happens several times a day.  God makes the relationship his top priority.  What a great dad.  He takes a risk that if he speaks tenderly to us, loves us, draws us in, melts our hearts....that we will want to obey him.  But won't people take advantage of all that grace and disobey anyway?  Yes.  But God never changes his stance.  I believe because relationship is still the strongest and most lasting motivation for obedience.   Makes me want to parent that way.  As I once heard someone say, someday your kids will be too big to spank and your relationship is all you'll have.  Ultimately I want my kids to feel like they were the most important thing to me...not my to do list, not my job and certainly not what's on the breakfast menu.