I was talking to Chris about going on a weekend long women's retreat at church. NiNi said, "Yeah, mom, go. Then you can get a break of us."

NiNi: "I can speak English and Chinese...hola Ni hao!"

Meagan has developed a bad habit of labeling things around her room in permanent marker (toys, her laundry hamper, etc.) I told her to stop...that it was vandalism (ok, yes, an exaggeration). She replied, "Vandalism is only when you destroy someone ELSE's property!"

First Sleepover

After a full year of "Hows come I can't have a sleepover?" NiNi had her friend Veah for an overnight. We fully expected to be running her home around midnight, but everything went off without a hitch!

Good grief

As father's day is approaching I am reminded that it will be 20 years this August that my dad passed away. This is one of my favorite pictures of him. He is not yet thirty and looks completely unburdened. Twenty years sounds like an eternity to my own ears. It also marks the point that he has been gone for more years of my life than he was alive. And he has missed so much...meeting my husband, my wedding, my graduations, the birth and adoption of my children and just the everyday ups and downs of life. I am embarrassed to say that it took me 7 years to visit my dad's grave for the first time. Then another 10 years to visit it a second time.

I guess I have been thinking about grief quite a bit lately. Most recently, I attended the funeral of the mother of a very dear friend of mine. It was a beautiful tribute to a beautiful life...but I couldn't help to wonder if funerals do a disservice to the mourners. Unlike some cultures who hire people to wail and cry and raise a ruckus, we westerners hold it together (at least publicly). We are quick to rattle off encouraging words about end of suffering, being in a better place, etc. Whether or not those things are true, we are sending a message: Don't be sad...get on with your life. I'm just not sure that's what God intended when he gave us the capability to love so fiercely another human being. In some Asian countries the mourning period can last anywhere from 40-100 days! And we go back to work after 3? Really? We love the book, "Tear Soup" by Pat Schweibert. I bought it for Meagan when Mayah passed away, but I think it helped me the most. I love the idea that the grief process is like making a big pot of soup...soup that is made up of memories (good and bad), joy, sorrow, and of course, a whole lot of tears. Soup like that takes a great deal of time and energy to make. Everyone's soup has it's own unique flavor, and unfortunately it freezes well. It's amazing to me how I can put my grief on a shelf, and then pull it out years later and the pain is just as fresh as day one. There is also something to be said for NOT making your soup. All those years that I didn't visit my dad's grave..I think I was secretly hoping that I could bypass all of that hard work of grieving. I appreciate the Chinese emphasis on meticulously taking care of graves...offering gifts and making sure the grave is swept clean. I can't think of a better way to ensure that you are dealing with your emotions on a regular basis. Probably not what the Chinese had in mind, but it's what stands out to me.

In the past few years I have made the 3 hour round trip to my dad's grave much more often. I've introduced my girls to their grandpa (which was way overdue), planted some daylilies and mums, or sometimes I just sit. This summer I want to take Ethan's picture there as he is my dad's namesake. The other day, I came across a picture of my sister and I. We are in our teens/early twenties and making cookies. The kitchen is a mess and we are a mess but so obviously having fun. I remember the picture because my aunt slipped its duplicate into the pocket of my dad's suit coat on the day he was buried. As I looked at the picture I felt my throat tighten to hold back the tears. But then I thought, why? Why hold them back? So I just had a good cry instead. I think I'll be thawing out a little tear soup this father's day. I can't say that I love the taste, but it sure is good for my soul.

More NiNi-isms

"I think I'll take a break from picking my nose"

"When I grow up, I'll have to marry Ethan, because we have the same skin"

NiNi was getting fed up with gymnastics until she heard she could be on a team and go to competions. Now she says, "I like being in the davance (advanced) gymnastics 'cause then I can repeat (compete) everybody."

Now that she has new-found-two-wheeling freedom, I often remind her to stop at the end of the sidewalk when we're riding bikes so I can cross the street with her. Today, after the 5th or 6th reminder she said, "Mom, that's getting a little annoying."

The many faces of Ethan

Family weekend

Grandpa Reuter was in town over the weekend so we hit the Children's Museum. They just opened a cool new exhibit on the Terracotta Warriors. Ok, a little piece of Chinese history for you... The terracotta warriors were constructed for the emperor Qin Shi Huang around 250 BC to protect him in the afterlife. Pretty cool, except for one minor detail: All workers (about 700,000) and childless concubines were interred (yikes!) with him to safeguard his secrets. The warriors were discovered in 1974 in Shaanxi Province. The statues are amazingly detailed and current estimates are that there are over 8,000 soldiers (plus hundreds of chariots and horses) the majority of which are still buried in the pits. On our last trip to China we really wanted to see them, but were told that the ruins suffered a great deal of damage during the tail end of the cultural revolution.



Ethan...quite unsure if he's having fun on the carousel or not. By the way, that is Great Grandma Reuter in the background...skirt hiked up and riding a jumper! I hope I am as cool as she is when I'm 86


NiNi busy excavating


Grandpa and baby Quinn


The girls messing with Ethan while he was asleep

Four years ago today...

NiNi became a Reuter. So in love with my smart, sassy, strong-willed girl!

News flash...

NiNi taught herself to ride a two-wheeler in a couple of hours. She had been bugging me for a few days to take the training wheels off her bike because she wanted to ride a "balance bike." The next thing I knew, Meagan was asking me for a wrench and the two of them were practicing in the backyard. Mind you, this was the day it was about 98 degrees outside. By the time dad got home from work, she was going short distances up and down the sidewalk. One final tumble bloodied her lip and loosened a couple baby teeth so I called it a day (but I'm pretty sure she would've kept at it!)

Pictorial update...

Serious bed head. We're going for the Justin Bieber look...but I wonder if Justin's hair looks like this in the morning.


Who cares what you're wearing as long has you have sole control of the remote

Can we give up the bottle already? I have tried taking it away, but dad's a big enabler around here




Ethan is happiest when he's naked and has snot all over his face

According to Grandma, 5 is not too old for a sink bath

A girl helmet? Really mom?